“They say money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a jet ski, and you don’t see people riding jet skis frowning.” I don’t recall who said this, or if it is even a direct quote or a woeful paraphrasing, but the point stands. Money, or rather disposable income, is fucking lovely. A Chinese takeaway, a vanilla latte, any kind of food or drink is my little treat if I find some change under the couch cushion, or whatever the hip youthful equivalent of that is. To others, it can be grander. A fancy Michelin star dinner, or perhaps an upgrade to First Class on a plane ride. To some it can be the whole damn plane. Money comes in levels, and a not much to be can be life-changing to someone else, while some inordinate wealth to me might be chump change to a billy-big-balls businessthey.
Yes, there are countless ways for someone to spend their money, almost always justifiable in some way or another. There is one thing though that I just cannot fathom spending money on. Sponsorship of a football top. Actually, sponsorship of most things in sport. Yeah, I’m looking at you Sports Direct Arena.
I get it. The concept is simple. Whack your company logo on a football top watched by millions of people and get BET365 or Wonga into the mindset. Genius. There’s only one problem though. EVERYBODY IS DOING IT! It’s noise. It’s white noise.
There are some examples that work. You’ll see sub-par Twitter – or ‘X’, as nobody calls it – accounts that’ll do overdone quizzes asking you to guess the team by a snippet of a logo. Some just stick. Sharp and Manchester United. Carlsberg and Liverpool. Strongbow and Leeds. bwin and Real Madrid. Pirelli and Inter. They don’t have to be likeable brands, or teams, but sometimes they just stick, and they key is usually, but not always, longevity. Man United were sponsored by Sharp for almost twenty years, while the Leeds – Strongbow association lasted only four.
To be memorable you need a few factors. You need a bloody good kit, that’s for sure. And you need the logo to blend into the shirt. I’ve seen too many companies get greedy and put a horrifically garish logo on a decent shirt, or have a fine logo on a nasty burn-rag of a club kit. You likely need a decent stint as a club sponsor, and it helps if the club enjoys some success in this spell, so that the memory of the shirt doesn’t fall into a misremembered spell of mediocrity.
Half the problem now is that due to the ludicrous popularity of the topflight, companies are spending more and more money on sponsorship rights but for significantly less time. I was watching highlights of Newcastle v Luton today and it crossed my mind that I had no idea who was sponsoring Newcastle. I’ve watching a ton of their games or highlights this year and yet it doesn’t resonate. Certainly not in the same way that Newcastle Brown or Northern Rock stick in my mind.
It got me thinking. Who the hell are sponsoring the top twenty teams in England? Sure there are a few obvious ones. Etihad. Team Viewer. Fly Emirates. But what about the rest. I’m going to list them below in alphabetical order. Take a guess at who sponsors who. Gold star if you get 20/20.
AIA
American Express
Astroplay
Betway
BK8
CFI Financial Group
Cinch
Dafabet
Emirates
Etihad
Hollywood Bets
Infinite Athlete
Kaiyun Sports
SBOTOP
Sela
Stake.com
Standard Charted
Team View
Utilita
W88
Be honest… how many did you get? If you were above .500 then fair play.
I know that the companies will think that they’re being financially responsible but it’s just hard to imagine that the betting population of Burnley are switching their allegiances from SkyBet or Paddy Power to W88.com.
Call me old fashioned, because, frankly, I am, but I yearn for the days when local businesses would sponsor local clubs. I realise that the wistful days of yesteryear still probably apply at non-league level, but it would be nice to think that a community club like Burnley didn’t have to sell out to a Chinese casino site.
As I said at the top, spend your money how you like. If the CEO of W88.com wants to piss away their money on sponsoring Burnley FC for a season or two before being forgotten all about again then good luck to them. Football teams don’t need shirts that’ll be remembered fondly. They need shirts that’ll sell and suckers that’ll pay top dollar to be on it. They need players which cost money, to generate wins, runs, titles and glory (oh, and some ROI for the investors).
The last thing your average CEO of a football club cares about is the legacy, despite what their PR intern scripts them to say. But hey, what do I care. I’m of a certain vintage that I’m too old to like new things anyway. I’m off to eBay to buy some cool football shirt from before I was born…
Oh, and sorry to Burnley FC and all associated with them for falling victim to my ire. Every team in the top flight is just as big a sell-out as the next.
Heart of Football 
Leave a comment